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I've been scheduled for heart surgery. I'm scared. Hopefully it will go ok and it can be another thing I can cross off my list. My ex best friend only cares about herself. I wanted to do something nice for my family since they are stressed out about this surgery too. As a result she blew up at me for no reason and blocked me. This was almost a month ago. I'm still hurt and upset about it. I understand that behind that masked smile her world is breaking. She has never went off like that. I mean we are family she was just my best friend. I'm getting ready to face something terrifying and all I can think about is how I should apologize to her even though I don't think I did anything wrong. I didn't ask for money or a place to stay. I didn't ask her to be a godmother to my kids. I haven't been whining about my health because she accused me of playing a victim. It's so fucking frustrating. I know I need to just walk away. It's not good for the heart especially one that has to have surgery on it. Mr. A doesn't really understand what I am going through. I have no idea if he is even stressing about it. He's not really forthcoming with his emotions. Meanwhile I have spent the entire week making sure I take care of everything I can think of. Yet I still feel so unprepared. And now I'm out of time.